that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
