Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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