did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize