Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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