I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
