at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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