The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
