My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
