I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
