I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
