we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
