One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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