If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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