Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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