Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
