Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
