The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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