? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
