everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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