So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just pee around me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
