so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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