I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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