My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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