we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fuck appropriateness.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
FUCK WHALES
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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