Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
