I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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