you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
