Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am puke
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
