He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
