im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
