hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
