Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
