Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize