the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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