I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
either way he was missing a nipple.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
