I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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