one might say we're banned from that church
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
