Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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