i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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