Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
