Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
