So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
