Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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