My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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