Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
