The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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