Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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