I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
