Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
