I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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